I Am a Proud Member

What an incredible year.  It’s been quite some time but let’s see if I can catch up to date.  Passing our second evaluation brought a new milestone in itself−rifle night.  As assigned, I named my rifle Rosie.  Inspired by Rosie the Riveter, I chose the name to serve as a constant reminder to always have confidence in my abilities, and faith in myself because “We Can Do It!”  The weeks flew by as we learned Color Guard procedures and all that stood between us and Honor Guard were two short weeks.  We had to meet six separate flights and acquire each member’s signature, but not before some, uh, interesting tasks they gave us.  Our final evaluation came this past Thursday, and as I was the last of the flight to be evaluated, I was nervous as hell.  I shuffled my feet, screwed up the poem High Flight, immediately did an about face after reporting in (considered a sign of disrespect), and also moved my head going from right shoulder arms to port arms.  It was painful, and even more so when they told us that we had disappointed them.  But they were willing to give us one more shot this Saturday.  I don’t want to divulge too much of what went on incase next year’s trainees come across my blog, but after running around the Det for two hours, we were told that we did not get in.  Surrounded by Honor Guard members, we each had to come up with three reasons explaining why we wasted their time this semester.  The Honor Guard commander informed us that he’d give us an about face.  If our candle was lit, we had made it.  And if not, we would have to train again next semester.  The lights went out, and upon executing the command, we discovered three flickering candles. 

I am a proud member of the United States Air Force Honor Guard

Gladius Flight - Eval 2

I can’t believe this year is almost over! Each week brings us closer to finding out whether we will make it into Honor Guard, but after last night I’m really disappointed in my performance.   I made some stupid mistakes, for example, I recited knowledge while at Present Arms which you are definitely not allowed to do.  One of the good things is that I know what I did wrong and for the makeup evaluation, because I almost certainly failed, I will know enough not to make the same mistakes.  We are ranked on a scale of 1 to 7 in several categories including bearing, knowledge, marching, attitude, and others that are not coming to mind at the moment.  The way our evaluations work is that for the first evaluation only one judge needed to pass you to pass entirely.  For the second evaluation you need to be passed by all judges present to pass entirely, and if you fail you have one opportunity to be reevaluated.  For the third and final evaluation you also must be passed by all judges present on the first try.  Overall I feel we have made strides as a flight and individually.  I was god-awful when we started and the two other members of Gladius flight love to remind me whenever the chance arises.  It’s going to be tough these next five or six weeks with finals galore going on.  I’m also going to post some photos with this blog if I figure it out.  There are three photos in mind that I want to include, such as our rock-climbing flight event from two weeks ago, our sharp looking Honor Guard bulletin board that is in the Detachment, and also a photo of our Gladius flight emblem.  The emblem is essentially a multiple layer iron-on transfer that I cut out by hand and ironed on our red pennant, or flag for those of you who aren’t sure what guidons or pennants are.

Proposal

Everyone has desires, and as crazy or seemingly impossible as they may seem, they are not.  What bothers me is when people settle.  I’ve seen it happen to friends, family, and even more so with my Plainfield High School graduating class this past year.  I can no longer go to our local Walmart, McDonalds, or Big Y without running into several classmates on any given occasion.  How do any of them know what’s out there if they aren’t willing to leave the confines of their hometown?  One of the best decisions I’ve ever made has been the decision to attend Penn State.  The distance, while at times, has had me staring tearfully at my photos pinned to the corkboard above my desk, I’m no longer afraid of forsaking the familiar.  As for the rest of my graduating class, only a handful of students have since moved out on their own, much less ventured outside of New England for college.  Although I have three older cousins who have all successfully graduated high school, I was the first to attend college on my mother’s side.  At ages 23, 22 and 21 they’ve each had several jobs over the years−the oldest of which is currently licensed to grow medicinal marijuana.  I jokingly tell him that he makes me so proud when in fact, visiting him and my other older cousins makes me sad to think that they are content with living at home and working mediocre jobs.  There are so many opportunities that people let pass them by that render them average.   Their unwillingness to make an effort is an upsetting sight, as I have seen with many of the people in my life.  In my paper I intend on exploring different reasons why people settle by providing examples from what I’ve personally seen.

Project GO!

This week I found out that I will be attending Indiana University this summer!  My Arabic professor had recommended a summer workshop there called SWSEEL.  Focusing on Slovak and Eastern European languages, it is an intense nine week program that requires you sign a contract agreeing to speak only the language of study.  As an ROTC student, the government also invests in cadets/midshipmen interested in learning critical languages such as Arabic or Russian.  I have horrible luck so it was that much more exciting to find out I had been rewarded the Project GO funding for SWSEEL this summer.  All I have to do is pass Arabic now...so we shall see about that.  If I decide to continue learning Arabic after completing Field Training I believe it is an additional pay check each month, mostly because of the high need for these critical languages.  In terms of scholarships, they are given out first to technical majors, then to language majors, followed by non-technical majors such as myself.  Apart from Arabic being difficult to learn, at least in my opinion, it is not offered as a major at many American universities.  I therefore could not double major in this language if I wanted to qualify as a language major.  Part of the reason why I chose this language is because it’s a critical language, and also because I didn’t find Spanish all that interesting in high school.  Arabic is cool because it’s different and has a different alphabet I thought.  This also makes things problematic because I can’t have just anybody help me study for a test because they have absolutely no idea whether I’m right or not.  Despite the difficulty of the language, I’m excited to continue learning Arabic at Indiana University this summer, in a much more effective and efficient environment.

Learning, Earning, and Yearning

This past Tuesday was the Physical Fitness Assessment and surprisingly, I got my personal best score, one sufficient enough to stay in Honor Guard training, and also get an A in KINES 096.  Other than that, last night’s training was not entirely bad−I made a lot of mistakes but we have improved slightly on our Superman Drill.  This is a timed exercise where the Detail Commander estimates the time it will take to march up to second floor Wagner, change into a specified uniform, and return to the armory.  This reminds me that, on another note, we’ve not yet earned the right to be a flight, but we’ve narrowed down our possible flight names to Gladius, Helios, or Sophrosyne.   Like many of the current Honor Guard Flights, we found it important to stay true to the Greek/Roman theme.   Helios was the titan of the sun, who each day rose from the ocean in the east and drove his chariot across the sky, bringing light upon the Earth.  He is also known as the guardian of oaths.  Sophrosyne was a Greek goddess who escaped Pandora’s Box.  As a symbol of moderation, temperance, restraint, and discretion, many Greeks upheld the ideal of Sophrosyne.  The consensus right now is Gladius, the Latin word for sword, much like those used by Ancient Roman soldiers.  Sword making is an ancient and honored craft which utilizes all elements of the universe, thus symbolizing unity and balance.  The training detail must complete a service project to earn our name but I’m at a loss for project ideas.  We originally suggested organizing a drive to send care packages to deployed service members but it has to be more of a team project.  For example, Olympus flight, who trained in the Spring of 2011, climbed Mount Nittany to show teamwork.  If you have any suggestions or ideas, please let me know !

Change Step

Just to change things up a little bit, this blog entry is going to be about THON, as I’m sure about 96% of the class will also be writing about it.  I’m a Moraler on Mike Uhas’ committee, Sharkbaits UHAS-HA.  It’s been a crazy 46 sleep-less hours.  Back cramps, swollen ankles, smelly clothes, and about six homework assignments on top of it.  My dancer, a member of Gammacaia, was phenomenal and did not complain the whole time.  Aside from this, she had a huge support group which also made things easier on me and my fellow committee members.  How it flew by ! I cannot grasp the fact that the weekend we have been working towards has just come and went.  It seems like yesterday when I last minute decided to put in a resume for a committee.  Yellow shirt orientation, our first gathering as a committee, and 100 Days Til’ Thon still feel so recent.   THON was amazing and I loved the energy of the committees, dancers, families, and children.  One of my favorite moments from the weekend was letting a little boy borrow my super-soaker.  Since it was a gift for my dancer I couldn’t let him keep it and asked for it back, but instead of giving it back, his friends continued to tell him to run away with my gun.  From there his three friends continued to squirt water in my eyes while yelling for him to run away with my gun.  I also had a lot of fun getting into fights with strangers, friends from ROTC, and my committee members.  I can see why people want to be Moralers− because we get to hang out and dance instead of cleaning, working security, or anything like that.  Overall, it was an absolutely amazing experience, and I look forward to being a Moraler again next year, and one day maybe a dancer or Morale Captain.

Sacrifices

Djfnsdilwefs!!

It’d probably be more grammatically correct to say I’m frustrated but I feel a long series of random letters with the intensity of two exclamation points more accurately expresses how utterly helpless and frustrated I feel at this very moment.  Our Honor Guard Detail has several positions including Detail Commander, Deputy Detail Commander, Drill and Ceremonies Officer, and Standardization Officer.  We will eventually experience each role and while I’m the person who probably needs the most work, I’m now the Detail Commander.  Every training practice we are given a new piece of information to study, and we have to get together regularly to set a pace and practice the knowledge which might include the Honor Guard Creed, Penn State Alma Matter, or the Six Articles of Military Code of Conduct, ect.  Today just wasn’t a good day and while I feel bad, I know how desperately I'm trying to keep my head above the water level with classes, my THON committee, and Honor Guard Training.  As I’m sitting here waiting to iron my training jeans, which by the way are men’s jeans from Wal-Mart because we must have a standardized training uniform, I cannot think of anything I want more than this semester of training to be over.  I can’t excel in any one given area without sacrificing another and the worst part is getting bad grades.  At Honor Guard training we’re always made to feel we don’t meet their standards and when I don’t do well on an assignment or exam I feel I’ve let down my parents who have been so supportive this year and throughout my whole life.  I’m a student before anything else−it’s something they reiterate throughout the detachment often.   You cannot be an ROTC student with poor grades, much less an Honor Guard member.  I don’t know what else I have to give because I don’t have much left, so let’s hope things get better from here on out ! J

A Man In Uniform

I’m at a loss for what to write about this week regarding AFROTC but I suppose I’ll start by saying how earlier today I was thinking about who I would be without the program and without the prospect of one day being a commissioned officer in the Air Force.  It’s hard to imagine who I would be without it, and honestly, a bit scary to think that it is something that defines me.  I’ve still got three years ahead of me and god forbid, I could not get a spot at field training, break something important and be medically disqualified, or be in a serious civil involvement−any of which could put an abrupt halt to my dream.  Who would I be? I was also talking to a friend in my Honor Guard training detail and began to wonder what we would possibly talk about if we weren’t constantly thinking about AFROTC and Honor Guard.  The point I’m trying to make is that it’s an incredibly large part of our lives and, in a way, it isolates us from everyone else−civilians.  While anyone could decide to go back to college, become an artist, swim the English Channel, this is our one and only fleeting chance to join, while we are still young, healthy, and capable.  On a less serious note, the Air Force Ball is coming up in March and I’m mildly excited because it’s an opportunity to see a new side of everyone in Det 720.  We are professional at all times but it’ll definitely be interesting to see other cadets interacting somewhat more normally with their families and dates.  I’m still unsure whether my family will be coming, it’s a long 7 hour drive from Connecticut, and as for a date, I’m also unsure whether I want to bring one.  All the cadets go in uniform, and as a non-POC female I would have to wear the regular dress slacks which are close to, if not the most, unflattering pants I have ever worn.  I love a man in uniform, and I don’t exaggerate when I say that a uniform can make any guy appear that much more attractive.  However, girls in uniform tend to have the opposite effect on guys and I would feel awkwardly masculine bringing a date to the ball.

Honor Guard

It’s been a LONG day, and an even longer week.  As I previously mentioned briefly, there are several voluntary clubs within AFROTC that cadets can elect to train for−the most popular being Arnold Air Society and Honor Guard.  This semester four cadets, including myself, are training for Honor Guard, a group trained in drill and ceremony who also pride themselves on exceptionally high standards of appearance and conduct.  I was warned by my flight commander that it would be one of the hardest things I would ever do…only to find out that night that he would be my lead trainer for Honor Guard.  I’d be lying to you if I said it was fun, and for lack of better words, they are no joke.  What I am finding most difficult is keeping my bearing which means keeping a restrained demeanor.  My natural reaction after making mistakes is to laugh at myself and I’ve learned quickly that it is unacceptable.  To say that our three trainers are stern and overwhelmingly intimidating is an understatement, and although I know they have to be tough in order for us to learn, it’s hard to think in this logic when I are frustrated and constantly making mistakes.  You are thrown into this new situation, responsible for knowing information you do not have access to, and must quickly adapt to the high expectations your trainers have for you.  You may have seen me today in English, which happens to fall between my AIR class and Leadership Lab, and I was a mess−very distracted and anxious.  This was mostly because, as an Honor Guard Trainee, I have to address all members of POC (which I should already be doing) as well as Honor Guard members.  Sound easy enough? Well it’s not easy when you do not know half the POC by name, nor do you know who is in Honor Guard apart from when they are in service dress.  There was one upside to such a long day leading up to Morally In the Valley−Seeing my Lead Trainer and Flight Commander wear the most god-awful dress I’ve ever seen, on stage, while whipping his blonde and purple wig back and forth to Willow Smith.

Commitments

To explain things a bit more thoroughly, ROTC is time consuming and the amount of time you have to put aside for it increases with each semester.  You’re ultimately working towards graduating as a commissioned officer but there are several milestones along the way, one of which is Field Training.  You compete academically and physically to earn a spot to go to Maxwell Air Force base in the summer following your sophomore year of college.  Being a cadet at a university with such an excellent AFROTC program has its benefits, yet it also means you are held to higher standards and are competing among the best.  After you have gone to Field Training you take on various leadership roles in the Detachment, which in turn means more responsibility, and thus more time committed to the program.  As a freshman, you’re essentially trying to get a feel for how everything works and it’s your opportunity to step up and set yourself apart from the group.  You’re required to attend 80% of PT (physical training) which takes place at 0550 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, your AIR course with an instructor designated by year in the program, as well as your Leadership Lab which is a Cadet run and guided lab.  This can include doing air warfare activities, briefings, and more.  You are constantly learning and being put into situations where you must apply your knowledge and skills, but at the same time there is also a lot of fun to be had whether it is maybe the Air Force Ball, or FTX (Field Training Exercise), or the number of AFROTC clubs including Civil Air Patrol, Arnold Air Society, Silver Wings, and Honor Guard.  It’s hard work, and although it has some downsides such as waking up early twice a week, it is something to look forward to.  You get to work with a diverse group of people, who are not only able to uniquely relate to you, but moreover want to see you succeed, and have grown up with you over your four years at Penn State.

Spring 2012 Semester

Welcome to my blog ! The Spring 2012 semester has just started here at Penn State and as a second semester freshmen in Air Force ROTC I feel this past semester has prepared me well for what’s to come.  Each semester Cadets are assigned to a different flight which both allows you to meet a variety of people in the detachment, and assume different leadership roles.  We are, after all, working towards becoming a commissioned officer in the world's greatest Air Force.  Last semester was difficult to say the least, and assimilating into the ROTC program and lifestyle was not something that came easily, but anything worth having is something worth working for.  I want to be part of the United States Air Force because I have a deep respect for those in the armed forces, their sacrifices, and their commitment.  That aside, it has amazing benefits and the career path I hope to pursue through the Air Force would make me an ideal candidate for a future career in national security either within a government agency or possibly the Department of State.  I can’t wait to explore the world and with the Air Force you definitely have opportunities to travel.  Most importantly, I want to be part of something bigger than myself−service before self.  I plan on getting much involved this semester through joining Honor Guard, and also be more forthcoming when it comes to taking on a number of leadership roles.  I’m still learning with each PT (physical training) session, class, and Leadership Lab, and in time I hope to have earned the right to stand beside my fellow cadets as we embark on this journey so few venture on.  Overall, I am excited to start this semester off and equally excited to share my knowledge (and lack thereof as you may very well see) and experiences in the United States Air Force Reserve Officers Training Corps.